Craving thin. Getting thin. ?

I never cried as much as I did this week. I just can't cope with being this fat person anymore. IT'S NOT WHO I AM. It's really not.
I'm supposed to be the skinniest, the sophisticated, stylish one. You can't be gracious, sophisticated if ur fat.
I'm so done with complaining. It's strictly hard core planning and executing plans from now on.
I read about this girl from the UK who was walking for 12 h per day!
She would either go out or walk around her room or she would even do puzzles standing up do burn more calories. I think her name is Lauren Bailey, or something like that. She's recovered now but whatever.
There's also this girl Ksenija Bubenko from Russia, the skinniest girl in Russia and she was pronounced the prettiest skinny girl. She made up a diet called "Victory" but won't share a thing about it!

Guess we have to go get our own victory done?
stay strong<3

posted from Bloggeroid

Hating the scale.

This sucks. I can't get fucking anything right! I totally binged today because my friend -B. bought us our fav food from when we were roomies and so I had to fucking eat it and I hadn't stopped eating afterwards for a veery long time.

The best thing is I'm going to this party on saturday and I will probably see my ex there. Great. And the last time I saw him I had like at least 15lbs less. Crap, crap, crap!

Okay, can anyone tell me WHY is this hard? Or no, scratch that, why do other people try to ruin our plans? It's not like it's their fucking business or anything.

I swear a lot on here! I don't do it at all usually.

I just have to try harder, stick to my plans, be strong, have my mind set on who I wanna be, how I wanna look like...

The goal is worth it all.

"Just don't eat. Do nothing."

<3

posted from Bloggeroid

CUTE CLOTHES ARE MADE FOR SKINNY GIRLS ONLY.

It's been a long time since I was here cuz school started and so instead of being online I'm just messing around.

But my goals brought me back. And the fact that I have no one to talk about this without calling me crazy. So, goals.

I wanted to lose like 10lbs before school – it was my starter goal, I was planning to lose 10 more after that. Anyways I failed. I didn't lose any lbs cause I seriously fucked up the last couple summer days. Attending parties a whole week before – and almost every day – before school made me very hungry. And very fat.

I did lose like 5 pounds during school (maybe it would be more but I have to eat at least a little when on campus, cuz how could I go to school all weak?). And then gained it back and now I'm just going circles.

I lose it during the week and then when I come home I just eat. And I really suck at eating, I never know when to stop. I'm either not eating or binging...
I hate it. I hate this. Can't I just be happy? All the time I've wasted, I could've already reached my goal hudreds of times!
I ate today. A lot. I'm not sure how to feel rite now.

I'm just so scared. I realised – I don't wanna be fat in 2012. I don't wanna worry about the way this or that shirt fits me. I wanna go out with friends and feel great all the time, not worry about how fat do I look. I wanna finally be thinner than my bestfriend. I wanna succeed. I mean, how hard can it actually be?...