Do I wanna PURGE? (what to do when u binge?)

Yes. Yes. Yes!
I binged like never before! Like I haven't eaten in years! I'm so ashamed of myself right now...
Yesterday shortly after my mom got home, she made lunch and I said I wasn't  hungry. Which I wasn't and I didn't eat anything! But... a couple hours after that I had some cookies. And then I had pasta (-what my mom made for lunch) and then I had two and a half sandwiches (!!) and then I had a huge, ridiculous amount of ice-cream with oreos on it!! Thank god I stopped there. The nausea stopped me. I can't believe it. And I was doing so well! Those stupid cookies! If I hadn't started eating those none of this would have happened. I guess it was just that I tasted food, real food after a while and I just couldn't get enough.

I tried purging. Unfortunately I'm one of those people who just can't do it... But this time I tried like hell, I drank A LOT of water before and I was just so full that I succeeded. Though I'm not sure I got it all out, cause the 'being full feeling' hasn't completely gone away. Is it supposed to? Idk, this is my first time I actually got this much out of me.
It's not fun. Binging's not fun, purging's not fun. After binging I felt like I was gonna explode and I was so sick... and I felt sick even more after I drank all that water to make purging easier. While I was trying to purge I felt even worse. It was hard for me, but then when I did it I felt a little better. 'Cleaner', I guess. Although I would've been a lot more 'cleaner' if I continued fasting - even if it is fruit fasting. I was crying so hard. I just could not believe I just did that. I didn't weigh, I didn't look myself at the mirror. I just couldn't.

And what now? What do you do when you binge? When you FAIL? Do you continue counting the days and count this one as a bad one, or do you start over?

I'm gonna start over. I've got three more weeks and I'm gonna get the best outta them. At least now food disgusts me. And maybe I'll remember this feeling whenever I feel like binging... Maybe this turns out to be helpful. We've all gotta make mistakes, right?

Be strong everyone, we can do it. And we sure as hell will. <3

pics today:)

 I like this, 'you're too good to put that in your body'. We are.

I'm really into quotes. I think it maybe helps me more than pics. I have them on my cell for whenever I feel weak and I just go through them all and it's working for me. Try it:)

I'm doing well today, feeling proud of myself and that beats any binging:)

Meeting Ana

Hi everyone, I was just going through blogs, looking if anyone is at the same place as me and I didn't find much. So I decided to my make own blog. If it's visited - great then, if not - great again, at least I'll still have somewhere to write about what's going on. 

I am ana. Or trying to be. But begginings are the hardest, right? I am succesfully not eating anything for days now. I would say weeks, but I used to eat fruit every time I would get too close to eating real foor or even binging. It's just to see how far can I go.

What about you? Succesful or not so much?

For now I wanna lose at least 10 pounds, and it has to be before the 5th of September.

Tips: 

• Water. Nice, refreshening, calorie-free water.

• Have something in your kitchen that's healthy, low on calories for emergency times, so you don't binge. Better yet, don't have food in your house (I'm not saying really no food, apples, bananas, cornflakes-can be used as a supstitute for chips when ur watching tv.) 
• Don't binge, don't purge(unless u binge). Throwing up is gonna hurt your stomach, throat and your teeth are gonna get gross with time.

• Get ana quotes, pictures. Keep yourself together. Be healthy and think thin. One day u will live it. <3