Wintergirls.

Yeah, I'm reading Wintergirls. Loving it so far, especially the words: who wants to recover? It took me years to get this tiny.

I'm doing fine I guess. Could be better. I really don't want to eat.
Here's what I'm scared of; is it true that u stop growing if ur ana for some time now? I'm 16 and I'm ana for about two years now, and I'm five foot six since I was 15, but everybody in my family is a lot taller than me. Is it ana's fault?? Or is it just the cigarettes? Or just me maybe.

// What you eat in private becomes what you wear in public. Cute clothes are made for skinny girls only. Food's not worth it. I don't like eating. I don't need eating. I will be perfect.
Stay strong. <3

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Craving thin. Getting thin. ?

I never cried as much as I did this week. I just can't cope with being this fat person anymore. IT'S NOT WHO I AM. It's really not.
I'm supposed to be the skinniest, the sophisticated, stylish one. You can't be gracious, sophisticated if ur fat.
I'm so done with complaining. It's strictly hard core planning and executing plans from now on.
I read about this girl from the UK who was walking for 12 h per day!
She would either go out or walk around her room or she would even do puzzles standing up do burn more calories. I think her name is Lauren Bailey, or something like that. She's recovered now but whatever.
There's also this girl Ksenija Bubenko from Russia, the skinniest girl in Russia and she was pronounced the prettiest skinny girl. She made up a diet called "Victory" but won't share a thing about it!

Guess we have to go get our own victory done?
stay strong<3

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Hating the scale.

This sucks. I can't get fucking anything right! I totally binged today because my friend -B. bought us our fav food from when we were roomies and so I had to fucking eat it and I hadn't stopped eating afterwards for a veery long time.

The best thing is I'm going to this party on saturday and I will probably see my ex there. Great. And the last time I saw him I had like at least 15lbs less. Crap, crap, crap!

Okay, can anyone tell me WHY is this hard? Or no, scratch that, why do other people try to ruin our plans? It's not like it's their fucking business or anything.

I swear a lot on here! I don't do it at all usually.

I just have to try harder, stick to my plans, be strong, have my mind set on who I wanna be, how I wanna look like...

The goal is worth it all.

"Just don't eat. Do nothing."

<3

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Thin, bony, cadaverous, twig-like, fragile

I'm so sorry, I haven't been here, AGAIN (I still wouldn't be if I hadn't figured out how to post from my cell. But I just couldn't. Because I did horrible. There was some stuff going on with my family, I was actually banned from using my laptop and I didn't stick with dieting for weeks... I didn't even weigh in cuz I was too scared. Until recently that is. I gained 10 fucking pounds, which is actually not as bad concidering how much I was eating.

Anyways, I... I'm back in order now, or trying to get back.

Summer's almost here, which means parties are back on, boys, booze, short skirts, bikinis, doing shit with best friends... And how the hell am I supposed to do all of that and enjoy it if all I think about is how fucking fat I am?!

There's this picture I can't upload that says: shorts to wear in 2 months. how will you look wearing them?

Decisions, decisions.

Well I decide to be thin! I choose it over food, over low self-esteeme, no confidence, shame and a disgusting body!!

I was on my way to lunch today and then I asked myself, what am I fat for? What for am I staying fat? And I went straight to my dorm room, where I am now.

It's a decision we have to make every day, several times.

Sometimes it's easier/harder. And you know how much I appreciate help, because we're all trying to be perfect and beautiful and ourselves actually.

It's not just about being skinny or pretty, it's about being both, being perfect and not a pound more. <3

Sorry if it's too long, I don't realize it on my cell. :P

lotsoflove:*

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