I'm so sorry, I haven't been here, AGAIN (I still wouldn't be if I hadn't figured out how to post from my cell. But I just couldn't. Because I did horrible. There was some stuff going on with my family, I was actually banned from using my laptop and I didn't stick with dieting for weeks... I didn't even weigh in cuz I was too scared. Until recently that is. I gained 10 fucking pounds, which is actually not as bad concidering how much I was eating.
Anyways, I... I'm back in order now, or trying to get back.
Summer's almost here, which means parties are back on, boys, booze, short skirts, bikinis, doing shit with best friends... And how the hell am I supposed to do all of that and enjoy it if all I think about is how fucking fat I am?!
There's this picture I can't upload that says: shorts to wear in 2 months. how will you look wearing them?
Decisions, decisions.
Well I decide to be thin! I choose it over food, over low self-esteeme, no confidence, shame and a disgusting body!!
I was on my way to lunch today and then I asked myself, what am I fat for? What for am I staying fat? And I went straight to my dorm room, where I am now.
It's a decision we have to make every day, several times.
Sometimes it's easier/harder. And you know how much I appreciate help, because we're all trying to be perfect and beautiful and ourselves actually.
It's not just about being skinny or pretty, it's about being both, being perfect and not a pound more. <3
Sorry if it's too long, I don't realize it on my cell. :P
lotsoflove:*
Anyways, I... I'm back in order now, or trying to get back.
Summer's almost here, which means parties are back on, boys, booze, short skirts, bikinis, doing shit with best friends... And how the hell am I supposed to do all of that and enjoy it if all I think about is how fucking fat I am?!
There's this picture I can't upload that says: shorts to wear in 2 months. how will you look wearing them?
Decisions, decisions.
Well I decide to be thin! I choose it over food, over low self-esteeme, no confidence, shame and a disgusting body!!
I was on my way to lunch today and then I asked myself, what am I fat for? What for am I staying fat? And I went straight to my dorm room, where I am now.
It's a decision we have to make every day, several times.
Sometimes it's easier/harder. And you know how much I appreciate help, because we're all trying to be perfect and beautiful and ourselves actually.
It's not just about being skinny or pretty, it's about being both, being perfect and not a pound more. <3
Sorry if it's too long, I don't realize it on my cell. :P
lotsoflove:*
posted from Bloggeroid
ughhhh i know how you feel! I've been terrible the past 2 weeks, both intake wise and with posting! but glad to see you getting back on track, with those! :)
OdgovoriIzbrišiAlso, I've seen that shorts picture, I love it and it's so true, summer season's so close! must. look. fantastic.
Goodluck! <3