It all ends today.

No more binging, craving, thinking about food, no more of that full feeling, or even more important of that gross I'm-a-fat-pig feeling.

School is over, I'm not on campus, I'm home. I live with my mom but she works a lot, so it's kinda like being alone.

I said to myself I have to lose weight during the holidays (even though most people get fatter, I fucking won't). I weigh 118 lbs. Holy fuck. And I was even fatter! About 125, 130 lbs. Gross. Well I wanna get to 100 lbs for starters. So it's 18 lbs in 3 weeks... Can it be done? Hell yeah. I will have to be really strong, but I think I can do it.

It would be such a great feeling when I come back to school and someone asks me if I have lost weight. *___* I live for that.

I cried a lot today. First because it was my best friend's birthday (I mentioned her couple blogs ago – B.) and she started crying because of  some stuff and then I cried with her cuz I'm winy don't judgeJ and I cried while leaving campus – winy :P

I also cried when I got home, but it was because I had these new pants on. Really tight, and I looked disgusting... I couldn't believe it, how gross it was!

I just think I deserve to look nice in tight jeans and bikinis...

Whatever. I'm gonna wear those jeans as much as I can so everytime I wanna eat hopefully I'll just look at myself and realize it's better not to.

Startovers are a cool thing. And I really needed one. Can't wait to feel empty.

Lots of love!